Seeing how it is Christmas Eve, I thought I'd put together a list of things I am (and some things I am not but will sarcastically pretend to be) grateful for.
1) The resurrection of Kurt Warner. I really enjoyed this article from ESPN. It's great to see a classy guy reborn in Arizona. Pro Bowl caliber for sure. With all the Plaxicos and Pacmans, it's nice to hear about good guys doing good things. I really enjoy ESPN's package about NBA players and teams doing good things this season.
2) Dogs that call 911 when their owners are about to die
3) Al Davis and the hilarious things I think of whenever I see his face or hear his name. I am currently writing an Award-Winning (surely it must win something) piece about him. Stay tuned.
4) Carlos Boozer convincing all of Utah to act like the way he left Cleveland was OK, win us over with a really good year in 2006-2007, make the All-Star team twice, sitting out half a million games, then telling us he's opting out of his contract after the year because he "is going to get a raise." Wow, I bet he's barely surviving on that $11.2 million this year.
5) LeBron James. Manchild. Karl Malone tribute. Wow. (That video has 9,000 views. About 4,500 of them are mine.)
6) Matt Cassel becoming a really, really good quarterback (and probably making himself a lot of money)
7) Bernard Polian ruining the Patriots season (although they've done a bloody good job of salvaging the wreckage, which I will discuss later) but making the NFL fair for the first time in years. I mean, really, has one man's departure meant so much to a league since MJ? (MJ the first few times, not when he was with Washington. By then, we all begged him to retire and spare us and himself the embarrassment. Have you ever sat and listened to someone say something so incredibly stupid you feel embarrassed for them, their family, yourself, and the entire race of humans? That's how it was watching MJ try and turn around the Wiz.)
8) Utah Jazz fans continuing to worship Kyle Korver and claim he is the man yet somehow not noticing how many big shots he misses and how many times he turns the ball over. It must be because he's so darn hot.
9) The term "indie," which used to refer to a cool, specialized genre of music. More than that, it was a way of life, people who were independent, who kept the DIY aesthetic and lived their own way. Bands didn't care about radio play or looking "scene," they played music. Now the term has been so bloated, commercialized and prostituted it's applied like a blanket to anyone and anything trying to be mainstream. How does pop culture do that to us?! It's like the death of Cobain all over again...
10) The Sports Guy's columns minus the incessant references to porn. Really, ESPN?
11) Sports actually meaning something. If you break it down, it seems very silly to throw an orange sphere through a rim or toss a lemon-shaped pigskin around a grass field. But sports can mean a lot more than the game. They can represent family bonding, appreciation for others, sportsmanship, and hopefully someday world peace.
12) Bill Walton. My personal favorite quote from him, "Tony Parker just made the worst pass in the history of Western Civilization!" I met this guy at a Bob Dylan show once. Really.
13) Kevin Garnett's "Anything's possible!!" video was one of the high points of my sports life. Yet aren't his antics getting a bit old? Play the game with passion, Kevin, but when I can hear you streaming expletives after nearly every play, isn't it time to tone it down a bit?
14) Speaking of KG, Big Baby Glen Davis crying made me feel like a really big man. Heck, I never even cried in little league basketball and I got beat up on constantly! Anything that makes me feel more manly is much appreciated.
15) The Lakers, despite having a record of 23-5, being told by nearly every NBA talking head that something is wrong with the team.
16) "Saint" Paul Millsap. Drafted 47th? Really?
17) Amazing names in sports. LenDale, Daequan, LaDanian, Delashaun, LeCharles. I'm currently in the process of changing my name to DeLaMitchell.
18) Bill Belichick keeping the Patriots competitive despite losing the best quarterback to ever play the game (Tom Brady), Adalius Thomas, Rodney Harrison, Lawrence Maroney, and on and on and on. I also love how so many people can't get over SpyGate. But seriously, people, if a coach ever deserved Coach of the Year honors, it's Billy B this year.
19) People accusing all Patriots fans (well, I assume they don't do this in Boston, but I'm not sure) of only liking the Pats because they're good, or something along those lines. I can NEVER tell someone they're my team without getting that response. Come on, people. I've been with 'em since 1993 and will be until the end of time, get over the fact that my team wins and yours does not.
20) The incessant media attention of the Dallas Cowboys. What have they done to merit so much attention? Shouldn't more attention be on the Titans, who very few people thought would be so good this year, or on the Panthers, who went from training camp punch-up to NFC contender? Or on the fact that Chad Ocho Cinco has possibly disappeared from the continent?
21) Wes Welker's snow angel. Yes, the NFL fined him $10k. But Wes, it was worth it. The sad thing was (despite the penalty and fine), he sounded penitent for doing it. Come on NFL!
22) Roger Goodell cleaning up the NFL by punishing guys like Pacman, Chris Henry, and Tank Johnson, then eventually taking that power WAY too far and fining everyone who does anything. Check out this quote from Clinton Portis (bottom of the page), which seems to sum up the entire world's sentiment!
Remember this quote from The Simpson's? "You can't treat the working man this way. One day, we'll form a union and get the fair and equitable treatment we deserve! Then we'll go too far, and get corrupt and shiftless, and the Japanese will eat us alive!" Well, it reminds me of Goodell. He did some good in the NFL and now he's taken it too far. Let the NFL retain some fun, please? We pay good money for this stuff!
23) Tony Romo. Yes, he is a great guy (Well, according to this and this.) Yet we all know no matter how good the person is, media folk don't praise people for good deeds. So why is Romo still worshipped? Hasn't he choked in nearly every meaningful game as a Cowboy? Why, then, after a horrendous game against Baltimore, when he threw a touchdown, did the commentator say, "Now this is the Tony Romo we're used to seeing."? Really? I'm pretty sure none of us has any clue what Tony Romo we're used to seeing or will see on any given Sunday.
24) Brett Favre making the Pro Bowl. Seriously? Over Chad Pennington? Brett, 21 touchdowns and 19 interceptions wouldn't cut it in the 5th grade. Give it up.
25) The BCS mess continually proving what a sham college football is. I will never get my head around the fact that Texas beat Oklahoma yet OU is playing for the national title.
26) Sports talking heads having no accountability. I love to watch ESPN commentators argue over games, swear by their picks, and make ridiculous statements. When they're wrong, nobody cares. Like when Shaq "guaranteed" a repeat in Miami? Hey, Big Cactus Guy, we're still waiting...
27) Waiting for Terrell Owens to self-destruct is a sick pleasure I'm sure most of America takes part in. It's like dating a trophy girl. You know it's going to end badly, you've known it from the beginning, yet you stick with it because it makes you feel cool.
28) Bright Eyes and Brand New providing the soundtrack to another dreary winter.
29) The resurgence of the Atlanta Falcons. After last year, I felt sick for the franchise and I don't even care about them. Arthur Blank trusted a criminal and their coach quit on the team. Usually those equal a long rebuilding process, but Matty Ice Ryan has really helped Atlanta feel the love again. Michael Turner too. And this piece on Ryan makes him seem like the kind of guy I'd want my kids looking up to.
30) HP Lovecraft shoes.
31) Wondering when pro sports will get over the whole "rookies can't contribute" rubbish. Case in point: Matt Ryan, Joe Flacco, Adrian Peterson last year, etc.
32) ESPN giving Lil' Wayne a blog despite incredibly filthy lyrics which continually send a message (to kids who listen, particularly) that it's ok to use the b**** word about women, drugs are great, and crime does pay. Really, ESPN?
34) I really enjoy this quote, "Most great men I have known have been deflated by intimate contact. Not so with [Name withheld] Every common everyday act added inches to his greatness. To me he was [an upright person] even while washing his hands or untying his shoes.” The Kurt Warners and Dwight Howards of the sports world help me realize that although they might not get the most press, good athletes do exist.
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